Being Easy . . . . to talk to,

[jeffreyab]

was one of the positive things I got out of my not new friend.

I was also interesting and wonderful but to coin a phrase of mine I did not make her "tinkies winkie" so that was the end of that story although she promises to chat if we run into each other a social event or at my work.

To get to the point I was at a seminar and the trainer mentioned that men look away when talking and women look one in the eyes. If this is true then my date found me easy to talk to to because I tend to make eye contact when I am talking to someone in a low noise situation like the one we were in.

What has been your experience in similar situations?

Comments

[avt-tor.livejournal.com]

For future reference, do not talk about physical attraction. If a woman is attracted to you, the way you will be able to tell is that she has her hands on you.

I can't explain this only in words. Ask me at a party at Noreascon.

Her Idea not mine

[jeffreyab.livejournal.com]

People get it into your heads that this time it was the WOMAN who broke it off because she did not feel physical and emotional etc. attraction.

I was willing to take it further but she was not.

No more worldcons for me until I can afford them.

[faerie-writer.livejournal.com]

I find when guys are dating you, they look you in the eye. It's once you're married that there's no eye contact. ;)

~Maggie

[fairydarkfire.livejournal.com]

Interesting. I tend to not make eye contact as I either am shy or just can't sit still for long.

[audacitygirl.livejournal.com]

I always make eye contact, but I don't feel comfortable doing that occasional "look away". So I end up staring. Then I'm the psycho-staring-girl with homicidal tendencies

[bjorng.livejournal.com]

I read this book recently which said that the look-away/look-at dichotomy is part and parcel of the differences in expectations between men and women. Women feel face-to-face/looking-at engenders closeness, where men think it's a challenge. Men feel that side-by-side/look-away means an equal or deferential posture (either way welcoming), where women find it distancing.

Usually I manage to do both of these wrong. It's either the reptilian stare or the "invisible friend maneuver" for me.

[kgkofmel.livejournal.com]

Note that the whole business about who looks where when listening and talking may also cultural, by which I mean it has to do with where and when one is born and grows up. North American's tend to a pattern in which the speaker looks away from the audience and back again (repeated) while the listener focuses attention on the speaker. A side effect of this is that North American speakers can appear shifty to an audience composed of persons from another cultural expectation.