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jeffreyab1. You live longer because if you have an accident someone is more likely to notice and help or nurse you back to health.
2. Two can live cheaper than one.
3. The company keeps your stress levels down, I assume a good match.
4. If you are male and want to pass on your genes and memes its the only way.
5. Someone to share those special moments of your life with.
6. Someone to dry the dishes after you wash them.
7. You can make their life better too and think better of yourself.
8. Money not spent on dating and dating services and other searched for companionship.
9. Less risk of carpal tunnel from staying up all night chatting on the net.
2. Two can live cheaper than one.
3. The company keeps your stress levels down, I assume a good match.
4. If you are male and want to pass on your genes and memes its the only way.
5. Someone to share those special moments of your life with.
6. Someone to dry the dishes after you wash them.
7. You can make their life better too and think better of yourself.
8. Money not spent on dating and dating services and other searched for companionship.
9. Less risk of carpal tunnel from staying up all night chatting on the net.
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no subject
You're also less likely to eat potato chips for dinner if someone is watching, and they often nag you into taking better care of yourself. But those aren't enough of a reason for being in a relationship.
2. Two can live cheaper than one.
It's not as big a difference as you think. A bigger place to live, split, is cheaper, and some food items are cheaper in large sizes, but other than that the other person will come with his/her share of expenses.
3. The company keeps your stress levels down, I assume a good match.
If that's your main motivation, get a dog.
4. If you are male and want to pass on your genes and memes its the only way.
No, it isn't. It is the usual way if you want to have a family and live with your children.
5. Someone to share those special moments of your life with.
That's a good reason, but it works better if you choose the person you want to share your life with, rather than being in a relationship because you want to share your life with *someone.*
6. Someone to dry the dishes after you wash them.
If that's your main motivation, buy a dishwasher.
7. You can make their life better too and think better of yourself.
That's not a reason to get into a relationship, it's a side effect of *having* a relationship.
8. Money not spent on dating and dating services and other searched for companionship.
See my opinion on #7.
9. Less risk of carpal tunnel from staying up all night chatting on the net.
I'm not sure I want to go into the chances of repetitive motion injuries depending on whether or not one is in a relationship...
The best reason for being in a relationship, to me, is wanting to be with that particular person. Sometimes being with someone is better than being alone, though.
Late night post
I am currently in the process of deciding what I am looking for in a partner and a relationship.
I am currently living in a big space so a second income would help and an immediate upgrade would probably not be needed.
What I am finding is that as you get older you run into fewer people you would want to be with or want to be with you so how do you decide what is important and what can be done with out.
Re: Late night post
For me it was the opposite. Of course that may well have been because I grew up in Buffalo, and didn't meet interesting people until I started spending my free time elsewhere.
how do you decide what is important and what can be done with out.
I don't know...I guess the same as deciding what's important when choosing a job or a place to live: I decided that one of the most important things was someone who isn't sexist, who considers me an equal. I wanted someone who I enjoy spending time with.
Re: Late night post
So far I have determined that we must find each other intellectually stimulating somehow.
List of stuff we want in a partner
Re: List of stuff we want in a partner
I had a list of about 50 entries, ranging from "not an asshole" to "enjoys genre" to "not be a control freak." This list was based on past experience of relationships of all types: familial, peer, work, romantic, academic, etc. It included items which I knew I could not live without, and/or which I knew had created stress in other relationships.
I made my long-term commitment decision on the basis of 40 "yes" answers out of 50, and the remaining 10 unknown. At the time of making the decision, I recognized that the remaining 10, while important, were in essence questions that I could not answer "yes" or "no" without taking the chance on developing the relationship and making at least the first steps in the commitment.
So far so good.
Re: List of stuff we want in a partner
Re: Late night post
Unfortunately, friends can offer suggestions, but only you can decide whether or not you'd be happy with someone who (ie) is neater than you, or less neat, or who hates reading, or whatever. Usually it depends on whether or not their good points make up for it. And that's an emotional thing, so I don't know how valuable it will be to plan this in advance.
no subject
Actually, if you look at the research, men live longer when they are in a long-term relationship, women die earlier than their single-gal counterparts. Presumabley, men suck the life out of us and keep it for themselves, greedy bastards that you are.
;)
LMAO!
OK - dude.
Don't do what my friend did, she made her list, and found *nobody* who checked off everything she had. Mind you, nobody ever will. LOL! (She then turned the list on ALL of her friends, and to make a long story short, she lives in England now.) You will not find someone who is PERFECT for you. She is still single, a good looking, smart, funny woman who self destructs in dating. You can't start with what you want, in my opinion, that's what you find along the way. You already know what kind of people you like, that's why you have the friends that you do.
Make your life bigger. If you don't find a guppie that you like in your fishbowl, find a bigger bowl. Find new things YOU will enjoy doing, make new friends, and see what happens. Oh, and like another friend I have, don't put targets on women's heads. LOL!
Beep beep beep... target in sight... dive bomb her!!!!! This person has found women that matches his "list" perfectly and forgets to look at the person. He also gets obsessive, or posessive very quickly. LOL! Yeah. He's still single and had given up on women. He's 33. Now that he's backing down, I'll bet you he meets someone nice. LOL!
Re: LMAO!
I am trying but this is a great town for retirees and teens not so good for singles in between.
no subject
I think that creating a list to quantify the personality of a potential significant other is ridiculous... Everyone has things that are very important for them to find in a partner, but it's far more pleasant to keep an open mind... The idea reminds me of what whatshisface said in On Equilibrium... reasoning everything we do really limits our potential.
Tendencies
You should not expect to meet all of them but they give you an idea of where to look to maximize your chances.
The older crowd is already trying to or has dated me.
The older you get the less you can rely on "attraction" or "chemistry."
It certainly has not worked for the last twenty odd years.
Re: LMAO!
Re: LMAO!
Family - my mother, one aunt with no family of her own and both my sisters with their families are here and that is most of my family.
no subject
You have to be friends first. Expand your circle of friends. Keep expanding it. Get to know the people at the grocery store, the shopping center, everyone you come by in the course of your life. Eventually, you'll find that someone shows up at the same events you do, and you'll get talking.
I suspect that you're too intense at the outset, somehow conveying that you are Hunting and that gives the person you're talking to the feeling they have a target on their forehead. No one wants to be a Target. They want to be someone in the next car over on the crowded freeway, not Bambi's mother; a traveling companion rather than a trophy.
As to getting one person to satisfy all that you're looking for, good luck. I think that list is unrealistic. And for half of it, you need a roommate, not a long-term relationship.
Ready for something more
I was also looking for reasons other people are in relationships.